He shee montu or as we say in America, Greetings to All
It has been a busy two days and so much has happened. I hope you have been anticipating reading the next chapter as much as I have anticipated writing it.
Before I write my factual account of what has transpired, I neglected to mention that Marcia and I have caused quite a stir in China. Maybe they think we are Oprah and Gayle but every where we go, people want to take their pictures of us and we gladly oblige. Then there are those who look at us and whisper to each other. Who knows what they are saying. Maybe, it is "I wonder if they brought the guns they always have on TV" or perhaps it is "black looks better in real life than on TV."
We finished off our trip in Beijing with a visit to the Hutong District which is one of the oldest section of downtown Beijing. We were picked up by Mavis and got to the district within a short space of time. The area reminded us so much of downtown Kingston where a lot of Jamaican Chinese live, down to the burglar bars on the window. We were transported around in a rickshaw which was a lot of fun. It was bitterly cold so the ride was probably only about 20 minutes long but it was enjoyable.
After that we were off to an Italian restaurant to meet with Courtenay Rattray, the Jamaican ambassador to China and his lovely wife, Tanya, with whom we stayed part of the time. We spent time catching up and had a decent lunch. The restaurant had pictures of many American stars who had eaten at the restaurant. O'Neil asked me to pick up some shirts that he had ordered on his trip a few months before. I had informed O'Neil when he asked me to transport the shirts back for him to the United States, that this would be considered "higglering." We walked Courtenay and Tanya to their car and their driver promptly gave me an open bag which contained seven shirts. We then went back to the restaurant to await Mavis, our guide, who was picking us up to take us to the airport and you cannot believe the first question I was asked. This gentleman who worked at the restaurant asked me if I sold shirts. Marcia and I burst our laughing. As I always say "liberty comes through carelessness." When we were leaving, the man asked that I bring him some shirts next time.
It was then on to the airport for our trip to Xi'an. Mavis walked us to the check in counter, made sure we were all checked and we bid her adieu. She is a wonderful girl and I hope the guy from Georgia marries her. Then she will be able to have as many children as she wants and get to eat something other than bad Chinese food. We gave her our business cards and urged her to stay in touch.
The airport is absolutely beautiful and check in and security were very efficient. They have all the top designer stores and the building is beautifully appointed. Marcia and I proceeded to our gate where we sat waiting for our flight to be called. We kept waiting and did not see our flight number up on the screen. By the time I got up to check, I was told the flight would be boarding at another gate. This was never announced in English. However, we hurried down to the new gate where we proceeded to board.
The flight consisted mostly of Chinese men. Men who would run you over to get to their seats and who would not offer to assist us in putting our bags in the overhead compartment. Chinese men are short on charm and now I completely understand why there is a one child policy. It has nothing to do with population control and all to do with the fact that Chinese women will only sleep with them one time. They are rude and aggressive, and the fact that they are not only short on charm but the most unattractive men on the planet, we are lucky that the Chinese government was forward thinking in regard to this one child policy.
When the flight touched down in Xi'an we waited until everyone deplaned before getting out of our seats. We saw no reason to be run over by these absolutely awful men. We got our bags and proceeded to find our tour guide. Her name is Diana and she is quite attractive. However, she is uncontrollably perky and has a very high pitched voice. Coupled with the grating Chinese accent, I am sure you could see where this could get annoying very quickly. However, I kept my sarcasm in check, which was difficult under the circumstances. We walked outside the terminal to find our driver. We were met with a man with a bad comb over. Comb overs are bad under any circumstance and no less so, if it is a Chinese male. Our oversize suitcases could not fit in the trunk and Mr. Chong (we later learned his name) had to tie the trunk down with string. We then spent a good part of our drive to the hotel looking back like Lot's wife to ensure that our unmentionables were not left on a dark Chinese highway.
The Ice Debacle
I went down to the front desk to ask them to deliver some ice to the room. After speaking with about six people, none of whom knew what ice was, I came back up to the room to see if Marcia could communicate with them. It is extremely annoying to attempt to communicate with people who have big smiles on their faces, obvious blank stares and who continuously genuflect, while trying to fake understanding like a Prada bag. Marcia called down to the front desk to get some ice and was told that there was no ice in the hotel and none would be available until 7 a.m.
I then put on my coat, took up the ice bucket and went downstairs. I saw a gentlemen in a black uniform and in my most controlled voice, but with my best angry black woman stare, told him to go and find some ice and put in the bucket. Within five minutes he came back to me with ice in the bucket. The moral of the story, travel with your black woman stare. It does NOT get lost in translation.
We woke up in the morning and since breakfast is provided, I went down first to survey the scene. I went into the breakfast area and there was a wonderful array of different foods for breakfast. So far so good. Now I had to get a coke with ice and did not know how successful I would be. However, it appears that even in China, news travels fast and presumably, everyone was aware of the ice debacle from the previous evening. I had five women at the front desk on the phone to the dining room, and when I got into the dining room, I saw a gentleman bringing two glasses of coke. Marcia then asked for ice and that took another two minutes.
By this time, we needed salt for the eggs and they brought sugar but Marcia persisted. Mother Teresa has nothing on her. The salt was finally brought to us and I figured I would not bother to ask for ketchup for my eggs, as who knows where that would have lead us. I gracefully surrendered and quit while I was ahead.
Diana and Mr. Chong came to pick us up and we were off to see the Terracotta Warriors. We stopped at a government run factory where they make the warriors and were were met with surprisingly great shopping. I was able to get Arlene's pearls and a wonderful replica of a Terracotta Warrior. We spent about an hour at the factory and it was off to the Warriors.
The Warriors are magnificant. Diana kept referring to the site as the Eighth wonder of the world. As many of you know, there are only seven. However, French President, Jacques Chirac had mentioned in a vist to Xi'an that it should be the eighth wonder and I guess the Chinese took him literally.
For those of you who do not know the history behind this "wonder," a delusional Chinese King wanted to take his army with him into the next life. He wanted to take live people at first but there were no volunters so he proceeded to have two million people build this army which took 37 years. Once again I caution you not to eat Chinese food late at night. At best, it promotes bad dreams and at worst, delusion. Once again, bad Chinese food caused a decline in the economy because the workers were not helpting to build the economy, but this"fake" army of clay soldiers.
It is definitely a sight to behold and if you are ever in this part of the world, I urge you to see it. After the tour, we went to the museum shop, where I proceeded to purchase another jade bracelet, mainly because of its beauty but never far from my mind is that it erases wrinkles. With two of these bracelets, by the summer I should look young enough to come out of my mother's womb again.
It was then off to lunch. My heart was pounding and I was understandably nervous because once again I was being subjected to bad Chinese cuisine. However, Diana assured us that this was a very good restaurant, very warm and very clean. We turned the corner and all of a sudden right in front of was a pyramid. I thought I was having a bad dream. Diana informed us that it was a museum of the 7 Wonders of the World. They have copied the 7 wonders and have a theme park right beside the restaurant where we were going to eat. Do these people have no shame? Pyramids in Xi'an? Are you kidding me? Are fake Pradas, fake Rolexes, fake Gucci, fake baby food, fake pet food, fake drywall not enough? Fake Seven Wonders?
We proceeded into a restaurant which looked large enough to seat at least one million Chinese but were escorted to a much smaller back room. Marcia said to me that the food was not bad, but I reminder her that "not bad" does not equal "good." This is where nuance comes in. When you say not bad in this instance, you are referencing our awful experience in Beijing and speaking comparably. However, if one is speaking about Chinese food or any food in general, then "not bad" has to be measured.
It was edible and I had a little and it was off to the hotel. It would be remiss of me if I did not mention the absolutely abysmal drivers in Xi'an. There are lots of roundabouts and traffic lights but the concept of "yield" is still evolving here. We observed many traffic accidents and people drive really crazy. Bad drivers always concern, but bad drivers with no peripheral vision are particularly scary to me.
I must also add that the car that I cursed the previous night because it could not hold our luggage, appears to have a reputation in Xi'an. It is the car that carried Bill Clinton to see the Warriors. It is a black car with a red flame on the hood and what appears to be a red candle sticking up. Because of this special car, we received the special privilege of being driven right up to the entrance of the Terracotta Warriors museum. We will be sure post pictures of the car and the driver on Facebook.
I apologize for the length of this email but it has been a particularly eventful period. Tomorrow we are off to see more wooden painted buildings, this one for monks, and then to a museum, and it is off to Shanghai in the afternoon.
I hope everyone is well and will write again tomorrow.
God Bless America
Liz
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