Hi guys:
I am happy to report that I am not in a Chinese prison. All is well.
First the gala dinner and dance was fantastic, well at least the dancing part was anyway. It was an 8 course dinner and I enjoyed maybe one course. I did not sit at Marcia's table but sat between two gay guys (one from a hotel in New York, whom Marcia knows and one from a hotel in London). Both were delightful and kept me laughing all night. They were hysterical. There were over 300 guests and of course it is the hospitality industry and needless to say, they were all hospitable and I am hoping to see them next year at next year's conference. Michael, the one from New York, was my "Dancing Queen." We danced all night.
The dance part was fantastic. The music was phenomenal and everyone was on the dance floor. Of course Marcia and I kept getting complimented on our rhythm and I tried to be as humble as possible because as you all know, we were born with it and never had to take any special courses or additional training to garner this level of expertise. By the time they played the reggae songs which I had requested all night, I had gone up to the room. Needless to say, I left there after 3 a.m. and many were still there. I know you are saying, "Oh, a Chinese DJ, how wonderful." As the Americans would say, "Not." The DJ was European and really knew his music.
We had to be up at 7:30 a.m. to leave for our sightseeing at 8:30 a.m. The trip started off at the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square and then we went to the Temple of Heaven in the afternoon.
First, Mavis our tour guide was excellent. Finally, a Chinese that speaks English. What a treat. Her English came by the way of Ackworth, Georgia where she worked for one year and where her fiance now lives. God Bless America! However, she is a "Rabbit" and this is the year of the Rabbit, so she will not be marrying him until next year. The Forbidden City is 995 rooms and you can only view them outside that a delusional King built with 100,000 people. Even back then there was a population problem, so what's 100,000 people, even though that would be ten cities in some other country, I said to myself?
The buildings are all wooden and kept in good shape but it was bitterly cold. However, even I got used to it as Marcia brought me really warm scarf and gloves.
Next we went to Tiananmen Square. Not a word in English or any other language of the "uprising" that took place there. We poked and prodded, albeit gently, but she was not biting. Not one bad word against the government from our Mavis. Thank God for Wikipedia.
We then went to lunch and the experience was indescribable. Absolutely awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guys, help. Please send food. Our food was not identifiable and even more disturbing, not edible. I figured I would make those fat cells work for their living because after a couple of bites, I just could not take any more. Marcia could not either. I was even praying for Ethiopian food, which you all know I hate but which would have been so gratefully appreciated under the circumstances. I am bloating. No more soya sauce I say. No more MSG. No more rice. What I would not do for a say a McDonald's hamburger? I have become an ugly American and it is frightening to me. This is not your father's Chinese food my dear people, so please do not judge. Until you have walked in our shoes, I suggest you be thankful that you are in your warm homes eating wonderful food that you can identify and that does not cause heavy bloating. If I hear one of you cursing American fast food ever in the future, you will pay for that.
On an empty stomach, with brutally cold temperatures it was off to the Temple of Heaven. More wooden buildings but this time in a garden setting and more stories about the God and heaven, yada, yada, yada. Still bitterly cold and I am thinking about a nice warm hamburger, pizza, anything not Chinese.
Our day ended at a Tea Ceremony (thankfully inside) where both Marcia and I wanted to purchase tea for Charmaine. However, the tea was almost 70 dollars that we wanted and I told Marcia that unless it cured cancer, Charmaine would not be drinking that tea (lol). Charmaine, you will get tea, but not the $60 one.
We came home, had a long four hour nap and thankfully, we were awoken by Oscar (Marcia's friend from Argentina). They were in the Japanese restaurant and we went down and told him to meet us in the Italian restaurant. I was literally sick to my stomach just to go and say hi to him. More rice, more soya sauce. I was not having it.
However, all does not end well. After ordering my wonderful American burger and fries, the burger meat was not identifiable and I could only eat half. The fries were fantastic. Tasted like caviar.
All, we have been so unfair to the Americans bringing fast food to China and the Chinese getting fat. Guys, they had nothing before and that is why they were so small. It is wonderful to see the robust Chinese children, after a wonderful Big Mac or KFC. Think what their fate could have been. More and more unidentifiable Chinese food for God's sake. We have got to be nicer to the Americans.
I am now up at 5:00 a.m. because I had a really good sleep and needed to write to let you know that all was well.
Today we are off to the Great Wall and it is brutally cold. The people who went yesterday lasted from two minutes to 1 1/2 hours. I am dressing like a I did for the inauguration and hoping that we can do at least 1/2 hour. I want to experience climbing the wall, not just taking a picture of it.
Speaking of pictures, we have taken them but we are not identifiable. Mavis told me I look like a terrorist. Obviously, our interpreter has a sense of humor (lol).
I am off to read a book until Marcia wakes up and then it is off to fight the good fight at the Wall. Then there is the Summer Palace this afternoon. I think we will have done both things by noon and someone told us about a jade factory which we would like to go to. When it is this cold, it is time for shopping.
It is official. There is no Facebook in China. I was hoping to post my missive but alas, no luck.
P.S. I found out that there are a 1 1/2 billion people in China. I asked Mavis where the other 500 million came from since the one child policy was instituted so many years ago. Anyway, do not be afraid, we will keep them happy with our fast food and introduce them to our wonderful language. That has been the most frustrating thing here. If Americans start coming en masse, they will not be saying such awful things about how French people don't like to speak English. I love the French and their English is fantastic and so what if I have to coax it out of them, at least they know it for heaven's sake.
Well guys, I am off. Have a wonderful evening and think about me while you are enjoying dinner. Life is not so good for some of us (lol). As the President signs off, God Bless the United States of America.
Liz
#
No comments:
Post a Comment